Saturday, January 16, 2010

Joy or struggle?

One of my favorite things about my work is how much of a gift my clients are in my life. Specifically, how much I learn about myself by witnessing them work through their questions and struggles. And, how inspiring I find their courage, tenacity, and authenticity.

I was again reminded today by a wonderful client, of how amazing my life is - should I choose to see it, acknowledge it, and accept it.

When she arrived, she was talking very quickly, as though she were trying to get everything in her head out - almost as if there would be peace if she could accomplish that. Her voice sounded tinny and hollow.

When I asked her what she wanted out of our time together today, she explained that she felt out of step. I was feeling my shoulders drift up towards my ears and my feet go numb. So, I offered a deep breath, moving our attention to our feet, grounding into the earth, feeling that connection. She sat back in the chair and I felt my shoulders relax. Her face softened, her eyes cleared, and when she spoke, her voice was resonate and full.

From that place of grounded connection, we walked out to the horses. There were three horses laying down in the arena and the others had chosen not to participate by moving to another area. When she walked through the gate and into the arena, she completed a circle with the three horses. The energy was remarkable and beautiful.

I asked how her body felt and she reported being completely relaxed - totally at peace in the present moment. Then I noticed that she kept turning away from that peaceful scene and looking to the other area to see if she could see the rest of the herd. She would start wondering where they were and why they weren't interested in her today. Her brow would furrow, and her voice would change.

Each time she would turn back to the three beautiful horses laying down, she would talk about the truth and power she finds in the present moment with a resonate, almost melodic tone. Then, she would turn her back again and strain to find the other horses, struggling to figure out where they were.

I pointed out what I was seeing and asked her if that is what she was experiencing. She confirmed it was. I then inquired as to whether she felt that was a pattern in her life. Her face dropped as she realized the choice she was making and the impact it has on her.

There are many layers here, as there always are with people as well as with horses. The piece that struck home for me was the choice to turn away from the groundedness and peace of the present moment for the drama of my stories. What is more appealing about the drama and struggle of my stories than the peace? What stops me from fully embracing the peace and choosing to be there?

What is true, is that each moment unfolds as it will. My choice is whether I will miss this one by worrying about the next one or the last one, or distracting myself with old stories that no longer serve me.

Watching someone else make the choice clarified it for me - in this moment, I choose the peace of this moment. I deserve the peace. I embrace it. I recieve it. I choose it. I release the need for the drama of the stories that hold me back. I can feel my shoulders relax, my face soften, and space open in my chest. Ahh.

1 comment:

  1. Rachel, I have been to only one coaching session with horses. Kathy Pike held one at Medicine Horse in Colorado and it cemented for me that horses are showing me the way. My biggest dream is to start a horse sanctuary and hold these kinds of workshops there. I have had a big upheaval in life, as my husband of 17 yrs left me to start a new life elsewhere. It just about brought me to my knees.....except that it the midst of that I found a new way through horses. I started volunteering by chance at Best Friends Animal Society in Kanab, UT. Part of BF is Horse Haven, so being drawn to horses I went there to volunteer and met amazing people who became my friends, not to mention the horses.

    Your post is so true. The story that I had been singing about the change in my life no longer serves me. I have a new one now, that unfolds as you say in each and every moment that I'm learning to appreciate. We all have choices. I'm learning and blessed to have been shown the way of the horse!

    Sue German

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